Category: Friends

What A Difference a Day Makes

July 2026

Fifty years ago, I was born to a couple in the far north part of the United States. They had taken a position in a church, and I was their first child. I would be a girl, the oldest daughter, and the oldest granddaughter. Word on the street says that is a difficult combination; actually, some people that know me would agree with that. Not only am I a firstborn, which tend to have the wonderful characteristics of a born leader, reliable, perfectionistic, and organized; I only had brothers and only have sons. So those characteristics lean more towards bossy, selfish, and black and white, no gray. Also, emotions are suppressed without a sister or daughter to keep me well rounded. Have sons and brothers? You understand. My husband who is second born has helped me see more to life than the one-track mind I tend to stay on. Unfortunately, I was diagnosed in a pretty crucial time of mental development. Survival mode was the only option, mainly mental survival mode. Physical survival was up to God.

Reflections have been the name of the game on this blog, but life reflections have topped the chart in the last few weeks. Once a person has hit the age of fifty, there is not as many years left as have lived. What a time of reflection on how life has gone for us. Have we done a good job financially, getting ready for retirement? How are our kiddos doing as they hit adulthood? We cannot really change anything, but we can help them navigate their steps as they make life changing decisions, like starting on retirement savings. At their age, my decisions put me on the path that I have traveled, and if I had made a different decision at that time, my life would look way different. God has brought me through those decisions and put me on a path of ministering to others in His work.

Other questions. Did I tell enough people about the Lord? Surprising how many people do not know about His saving grace and His forever life with Him in Heaven. Was I willing to invite others to visit with us at church to hear that message? How many more people did I let pass? In the same space, was I an example of love, of grace? I failed many times, got back up and asked forgiveness, but hoping God could use me daily to show grace. Galatians 5:22, 23 gives each Christian the blueprint of Christian living. We hear it over and over and over again and I feel at times we let it go in on ear and out the other. Yet it really is a reflective aspect that should be on repeat. “But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance…” Do I have joy in my life? Many times, I feel like joy is a choice. Our surroundings affect our life and joy but how we choose to respond to them, can be crucial. Choose Joy? Yes, grief if needed but choose to see God in the areas of grief and ask for God’s help. Those around us are there for that help as well. The Bible tell us in Romans 12:15, “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”

Peace. Let that settle in. Breathe. In through the nose out through the mouth. It is interesting that when I want to settle things down in my life, I use the same actions I will take when I am in pain, in discomfort. It is a mechanism that brings the situation at hand into focus. Where are we at in our peace? We may say that peace alludes us, but we have to make our own peace. Young moms with little kids, multiple sporting events for older ones, and activity night after night. Find peace, make peace. Breathe until the peace comes and make the peace come.

After peace in the verse above is longsuffering. This is patience when the peace is allusive, this is patience when our surroundings are complicated and difficult either of our doing or others. If it is others, what are we doing to make those relationships better? Do we have relationships that are meaningful, that are supportive, and that build us up in a world that can tear us down and be discouraging. I am grateful more than my friends can know of each of their friendships. They are uplifting and put me in a place of comfort and love. Each one is unique and is an amount of stability in my life brought to me at different points or for different aspects.

Our God has done this for us. He has given us a free will with stipulation as Christians. We choose our path for the most part, our attitude, our joy, our peace, oh, and do not forget the longsuffering… He is there for the directions and makes the path open for viewing and to walk down, or closed for the time being, or to wait. Grateful for the path, the journey and the choice. What a difference MY day made Looking forward to the reflection of the past and the direction of the future.

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Finally Here

6/13/26

Road trips take us all over the country. We finished a long road trip a couple weeks ago, and enjoyed the sights and sounds of new places. Each leg of that journey ended with a, “Finally here.” We would rest, do an activity, and a then the next day, back at it.

I love how life is similar. Each of us has a journey that we are traveling on. For most of us, there is work, raising children, family activities like sports, and then we fall into bed each night. Unfortunately, it seems to me that all around me, the activity has no, “Finally here.” We should all make it a point to stop and evaluate the activity and where it is taking us. Soon enough the journey may end, and I hope that we are happy with where it led us.

My journey is ongoing but one step along it was putting all this in a book. Maybe one person will get it in their hands and see their trial inside mine, then be encouraged to take another step. It felt like some of my steps were overwhelming, and an encouraging word or event helped me. I hope to continue to encourage each person, but for now this is my next step, and it is “Finally Here!”

God bless you in your next step.

Christmas Time Is Here Again

December 2024

I Love Christmas time. I actually love Thanksgiving more because I do not feel as overwhelmed. There is cleaning the house and putting together the most scrumptious lunch and goodies. Where with Christmas, it is scheduling a picture taking session, then ordering the cards with all intentions of a clear photo and changing the name on the card to your name. Then after that stressful project, making sure presents are bought for family and friends, getting them wrapped, going to parties and choir cantatas, and then cleaning the house. Sometimes we head to a family member’s home in another state which involves tying up an extreme number of loose ends just to leave, on top of the regular Christmas events.

It is beyond important to take a look at the list of items to do, the list of projects done, and the list of chores and then turn on the Christmas music and dwell on the reason for the season. Have we thought about that part yet? Well, the reason for the hustle and bustle is going to be here shortly and the dwelling on the spirit of Christmas should not be left until then. In fact, it should be in every aspect of our daily lives year round. Why are we shopping endlessly for the right present for the right person? Why are we going to the event? Why celebrate? Because it is Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. As Christians, it is the only reason we should do these things. He is who we are celebrating; He is who we are honoring with our gifts to others, the message that is sung, and our connections at the parties. He has given us these opportunities.

Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Creator of all, was sent to earth as a baby. Christmas is the celebration of His birth. But the story is the most important. Why did He come? God created man in His image and to be ruler of His creation, but man sinned against God by being deceived of the devil. Sin entered into the world, so God sent His Son to take the sin of the world on Him by dying on the cross. Jesus is that bridge from this sinful world to God. Through belief that we are sinners, that Jesus died for those sins, and accepting those things and asking Him to be our Savior and bridge to God, we can spend eternity with God upon our death. The recognition of these truth from the Bible makes Christmas a part of the celebration of Christianity that should be so very meaningful. Let us make it meaningful this year.

One of the ways we can make it meaningful is to see the events in a different light. Did they come around as only a gathering time of food and fellowship? Maybe. But if we look at what the Bible says about when Jesus was born, others gathered together to celebrate His birth. Luke 2:1-19, gives the Christmas story that every choir cantata and musical at Christmastime repeats. Jesus was born and the angels came to the shepherds to tell them.

Luke 2:8-12 say, “And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shown round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.” The shepherds went looking for Jesus and found Him and His family in a stable. That gathering together to worship and celebrate the Saviour of the world, Extraordinary! Can you imagine that type of concert from the angels and the gathering in the stable? Lowly and meek, God-honoring and worshipful.

Along with the gatherings, I love giving gifts and making it the right gift. If we read in Matthew 2, wise men came from the east looking for the King of the Jews, following the star. They presented him with gifts which were very expensive gifts and an act of their worship. These gifts are an example of our gifts to God. Our lives and dedication to telling others about Jesus should be our main gift to Him. He asks us at the end of the Gospel of Matthew to tell everyone about Him and His gift of Jesus whom He sent to us. Jesus is that ultimate gift we can give to others, and especially this time of year when the emphasis of Christmas is all around us. How are we going to do that this year? Are we willing to share Jesus with those we come in contact within the next week. Grocery stores, gas stations, restaurants; we may be the only Christian someone has ever met or will meet this year. This gift of Jesus to someone without Jesus will change their lives forever.

Each year, we spend time as a family concentrating on giving God a new gift for the new year. I have tried to give Him more of my time, my thoughts, my service. And at the end of the year, I reflect on how that went for me. I have seen some amazing things happen with those gifts. I can honestly say God has taken care of me, will take care of me, and everything that is done in my life is for a reason, and I try, try, try to remember that constantly. The last few months have been evidenced again of how much He has taken care of every need. God has worked in some pretty amazing ways, and there are more to come. I have spent this year in quite a bit of physical pain, and yet, I feel healthy and strong. If the pain, were to go away would I be able to see God in my life less? Maybe so. But of course, I would rather not hurt. That gift of no pain might actually make me complacent in my daily life, sitting back and not focusing on those that are in some real debilitating pain. At least I can get out of bed every day and do my tasks. Many others may not.

Gifts and gatherings and family are Christmas, but Jesus needs to be Christmas. Today, let us look at this day as the one God has made for us and give Him our time, thoughts, and us. Celebrate Jesus as Christmas time is here again.

Getting Off The Hamster Wheel

November 2023

Our lives are so fragile, yet when we live them on what some people call the hamster wheel, that fragility is not even noticed. The wheel turns. Since my last post, Christmas, trips, moves, more trips, fireworks, and school ending and beginning. How can that much time go by so quickly? When I first got married, an older lady in our church said that once you have children the time seems to speed up. I guess the developmental stages that children go through make time move forward more quickly than when we are just living a life for ourselves or newly married? I can see how that might be. But I wonder if time really is just moving forward differently because the hamster wheel has added responsibilities and added activities, and it is hard to stop time or slow down when that happens. Along with the added children are everything as parents we add to the wheel, as well.

Then…

Have we ever been driving, and up ahead we see a sequence of traffic lights, like maybe the ones that are getting us ready to meet up with an interstate or highway? There always seems to be at least one on our side of the interstate to help those turning left onto the on ramp and coming off the interstate, and then one after we pass under the overpass for us to turn left onto the on ramp going the opposite direction and help those coming off. These lights are much needed with a busy traffic interchange. As we approach, many times the lights tend to blend together. We see the one right in front of us, and also, we see the one ahead. Maybe it is just me, but a couple of times I have looked too far ahead and miss the one right in front of me change to red, and hitting those brakes comes out of nowhere; a sudden stop that throws everyone in the vehicle in a “woah” moment. Like coming off the hamster wheel. Moving forward looking ahead, maybe far ahead, then stopped.

A sudden stop; each are different. Yours is, or will be, different than mine. Listen, I am not a doomsday person, and I do not want to say that we should live our lives under the fact that we had that stop or will have that stop. But, a hamster wheel stop can be life changing and life altering, yet has the potential for us to live life afterward. I am a pure example of this. One day I was a go-get them, bossy, active thirteen-year-old and the next day, I was a cancer patient. And not just a cancer patient. I was physically sick, hurting, and dying; mentally, I was angry, unnerved, and discouraged. Plus, add any and all other physical and mental attributes of this situation. Life as we all knew it suddenly stopped, and a new life suddenly started.

Although most of us do not see day in and day out as fragile; they really are. They are the most important gifts we are given. I do not care that the hamster wheel is turning, we must be able to slow that down. Once we hit the sudden stop, like when the light turns red, then nothing is in our control. So, what next.

Let us put into place the hamster wheel slow down plan.

  1. Realization: We may say that has already been done, but the next step is insurmountable. You know, like when you are hiking that trail that takes you up the switchbacks. There are always those steps that are like two-in-one and to us short-legged people, those type of step ups, puts me in a place of unbelief that anyone would actually make steps so tall. I have done my fair share of stopping and looking up to see the steps and switchbacks as overwhelming. So, we go to the next step.
  2. Evaluation: Getting past the realization step is the one step that many times never is seen in the rear-view mirror. Many times, we won’t go past it. Hamster wheel stays turning. But if we can slow it down slightly and start on evaluating, the situation comes into focus. The giant two-steppers show up as doable, maybe at least until the next switchback. Each person and their evaluation looks different. A few years ago, mine looked like anxiety, crazy wife and mom, and I saw myself in total disarray. I was living in constant back pain, constant stress which in turn I put on myself severe anxiety. Yes, I put it on myself. We have a choice here on how the stress and anxiety affects us. My evaluation was that I could not change the circumstances.
  3. Slow down: I needed to slow the hamster wheel ever so slightly. I found ways to self-care and combat the bodily aches and pains, then remove a couple of things off the wheel, and then in turn a happier wife, mother, daughter, and friend.
  4. Move forward: a tad slower and the steps may still be just as tall but the next switchback is closer to the top, the goal. Within the evaluation, move forward with the changes. We cannot stop with evaluation; take a step. I saw changes in my health that were desperately needed; physically and mentally.
  5. Evaluate: Is this working? Are there a couple more tweaks needed? We must not think that our life has to stay where we find ourselves. God’s Word gives us insight.

Colossians 1:9-10 ” For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and understanding; That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God.”

How many “change” verbs do we see? Filled, Walk, Being fruitful, Increasing. All moving forward ideas.

Matthew 5:6 “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.”

II Peter 1:5-8 “And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

The last verse is fantastic about not staying in one spot, but it is also so overwhelming because the list is so long. Well, start with ONE of these things. Evaluate where we are and implement a change in kindness or patience. We cannot expect anything in our lives to be different if we don’t do something about it, and God tells us to change the things that are not in line with His word. It is a doable task, or He would not be saying it. Time to slow the hamster wheel before it hits a complete stop.

Sow, Then Reap

12/17/22

I visited a verse this week that I saw in a different light. II Corinthians 9:6 tells us, “He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.” What are the immediate thoughts when this verse is used, which many of us have heard hundreds of times in our lives?

There may be many applications, but my immediate thought has taken me to gardening. I have proven this verse to be wrong. I plant an over-abundant amounts of seeds and plants in our small garden out back, and then I proceed to over-fertilize, under water, leave the weeds and then cross the tomatoes with the corn. I am the worse gardener ever, but I am a pro at growing the weeds! Actually, the plants and seeds I put in the ground typically come up and they are perfect, but I hardly reap anything. Except one year I planted jalapenos; it was amazing! There were so many, I did it the next year because, hey, why not, I can grow something. The problem is we do not eat jalapenos. Seriously, our taste buds do not do super spicey, but I made some salsa. Then after a couple of weeks and more growth, I passed the jalapenos on to friends who use them often. I was super proud. I have to say my succulent journey has been pretty much the same. I have some growth, then barely alive for months, then death, then trash; many times over.

II Corinthians is definitely not proven wrong by my lack of green thumb, of course, but the amount of sowing and the correct sowing and the amount of reaping are in direct correlation with each other. Now, what else comes to mind and what does this verse really mean to us? Sow sparingly, reap sparingly; sow bountifully, comes back to us sometimes ten-fold, even the sparingly part. What areas can we apply this to in our lives today? Absolutely everything! Our pastor spoke to our teens on Sunday about decisions they make today are crucial to their future. I have told teen girls that multiple times. Their whole future is ahead of them and what will they choose today to make a Godly go at it? If we as adults apply this verse today, let us wake up and throw out the seed of quiet time with God. How much we sow gives to us encouragement, joy, strength; anything that we are as Christians to move forward in our day. Makes us think about having sown quiet time. Then our harvest will be an amazing day. Well, if it turns out not to be so amazing, at least we sowed Christ into our soul and spirit to draw peace and strength to face what might be the hardest day/days of our life.

Been there, people, and I wish my thirteen-year-old self had Jesus, because the discouragement that came with my cancer diagnosis was other-worldly. Thoughts of taking my life were never a part of my brain activity; I have to say I cared about me more than to take my life, but dying in my sleep? That would have been a peaceful way to go, was my thinking. I knew of God and how He could have made that happen. I just did not know God like I do today. I have learned to say, God is sovereign and has each and every step orchestrated for me. At thirteen, I wanted those steps to be my steps and the orchestration written out my way, so I did the only thing I knew to do and that was survive. God may have been in control, but that hair loss was not going to keep me depressed. I wore a wig. That chemo treatment was not going to keep me out of school, I went every day except the day after chemo. I was not sick, and no one could convince me otherwise. This was just an inconvenience. Sowing Jesus in my life was just what I heard in Sunday school, so I realized I needed Him almost a year after my diagnosis, and I saw Him as my Savior. Then in college, He got a hold of my heart and made me realize I had nothing to do with being alive, healthy, and with the ability to serve Him. He challenged me to start sowing my quiet time, then He started reaping in me a soul and spirit that truly depended on Him for every single day. One that looks to Him for joy, strength, health! My mantra: everything, everyday has God’s hand on it.

God asks us to sow. He asks us to throw out the seed of giving; of our finances, of our time, our lives to service. We could give lunch with a friend, gifts to others, or maybe coffee to a coworker just because. We should know if we sow, we are going to reap benefits. God sees and He may not bless financially now when we give financially, but who has ever given a gift just because and did not feel a ping of joy? There is the reap. We reap what we sow in our time. I have been hustling on to get something done and been stopped numerous times because that person needed time. I came away with a happy heart, a blessed moment in that relationship. Granted, I blew past a majority of people, but that is where I need to work on my sowing. People need us, people need time, people need love. Why are we too busy to give to people, or should we say, why do we not give to people and make the “busy” excuse. The verse, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly,…” Proverbs 18:24, then show friendly and reap. We have had conversations with our boys multiple times about this very same thing. Need encouragement, show encouragement. Reach outside of our self and be nice, be helpful, and be someone to someone else when they may not have someone, because THE SOMEONE asks us too. The amounts of sowing opportunities in our lifetime are abundant, whether right or wrong, we really should be aware and calculated with our lives, determining our steps ordered by God. “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.” He is for us.

Throw out the seed of kindness. Our families deserve our kindness, and we reap abundantly what we sow in this area. It actually is an immediate reaping, right? Throw out the seed of love. Love is a choice, it is a feeling, too, but if we do not feel loved or want to give love, that really does not determine our love for someone. But we choose to love, and our God has shown us the ultimate love, so who are we not give back to Him and others? Throw out the seed of joy. “How are you?” I submit to you, let us start saying what an old friend used to say every time, “Super Fantastic.” instead. Throwing out a joyful response really helps us feel better about what is going on around us at any given moment. Throw out the seeds of peace. Our generation today has a huge entitlement issue, thus keeping things volatile. No one is entitled to anything when we have Christ in our lives and when we do not, we still are not entitled because God has the whole universe in His hands and controls everything. Each person is on this earth because of one God. Finally, just throw out the rest of the seeds of Galatians 5:22, 23; “…against such there is no law.”

What are we sowing today? There are many people in my life that have taught me the seeds to throw out so that I may reap. I am grateful and truly blessed to have them in my life, because I then can testify if I sow abundantly, I will reap abundantly.

Where/How Has The Time Gone?

Recent events have brought reflection on years of the past and years, months, and days that are to come. A high school graduation, a twenty-year anniversary, a first-day-of-school pic with just one and walking into an empty bedroom of our missing college student. By the way, after spending the weekend getting him settled in and spending time, the hug and driving away was not as bad as I thought. Walking into his bedroom to pick up a little, let’s just say, I was on the struggle bus. Then when it was time to say goodnight to the boys as before, the bus kept going, so I had to text him to tell him I could not say goodnight in person, so he was getting a text. Reflecting on not “where has the time gone” but “how has it gone?”

If we evaluate our time God has given us, we can really see what is important to us. In the past week, there has been time with God, but how meaningful has it been? It can be the most important time we have as a Christian. We want to see our behaviors, our care for others, our relationship with God as meaningful, but if that few minutes is not worth the time, we need to figure out how to make it. God’s word tells us over and over those who accept Him as their Savior are His children, and if our time with our children or our parents mean so much, the same goes for God. John 1:12 says, “But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:” And in Romans 9:26, “And it shall come to pass, that in the place where it was said unto them, Ye are not my people; there shall they be called the children of the living God.”

So, we evaluate our time with God based on our time with our family. Granted, time with family can be limited with the coming and going of the members. There are times that we are like ships passing in the night at this house, but we are very much aware of interactions needed the next time the ship is in at the dock or a phone call or text to say what is going on that day. If that interaction does not happen, what kind of relationship do we have with our family? That really does not seem right. We head to a play date or event or church and we hope to see…who, because we want to cultivate a relationship with them. Then it is time to make the same eagerness a feeling for our family, and then ultimately that feeling needs to be one for God. Church is not to replace that one-on-one relationship we are to have with the one who created us as individuals. Psalm 139:14, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” We were especially created first for Him. Church is to feed our soul through the singing and preaching of God’s Word and refresh our spirit through the fellowship of God’s people. But our soul and spirit need to be ready to receive that goodness by already spending time cultivating the eagerness for the goodness.

How has our time gone? We cannot beat ourselves up for lost time; not good. I can promise there are many more years combined that have been for God and for our family when we reflect, but let us work toward additional minutes, day, months, and years that we previously have not used for this. Eager to hear from God instead of just reading the passage for the day. Eager to read and study a subject that we feel like we are going through at that time. Eager to pray for ourselves and others for God to work. Miracles still happen, just saying. But then sometimes God is silent. We must be eager for Him!

As a teenager on death’s doorstep, there really was not much of this reflection time except for the one day my dad asked if I had ever thought I could have died. I had not; I was just trying to get all this over with to get back to normal. I was angry at cancer and hated what it had done to my life. At that time of reflection, I realized that if God had not allowed me to survive the surgery and diagnosis, I would have not gone to Heaven. I was a sinner in need of a Savior, and I asked Him to save me shortly after that. Other than that life changing moment, I still never really spent anymore thoughts on where my time was going or had gone. Let’s just get through this and my homework done or a new outfit or call my friends. So shocking, but just in survival mode. We hear about hikers in the wilderness that get lost and do whatever it takes to survive. Desperation kicks in and a strength that they had never found before comes to the surface to survive, to get out of the situation at hand.

Where has our time gone or how has our time gone? Do we see the past years and are in desperation mode to make the future new? Is that strength that we never knew we had allowed to come to the surface and make God and our relationship strong? It does not matter how old or young we are, we are responsible to take the eagerness we have for any other situation or time with others and make it the same for our God, as an INDIVIDUAL. Here is the step-by-step process right in God’s Word, one from the Old Testament and one from the New Testament. Deuteronomy 6:5 says, ” And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all they soul, and with all thy might.” And in Luke 10:27 and 28, “…Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbor as thyself. And he (Jesus) said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.”

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

It does not take long to be reminded of events in our lives when we begin to look at pictures from the past. In this day and age, we have a plethora of those memories at our fingertips in our pocket or purse. Many times our memories are not sharp about events until we look at pictures or videos. A recent venture down memory lane while checking out pictures for our son’s senior ad, reminded me of a slew of fun times. Most of these pictures from the last eighteen years are not on my phone, but my computer so I do not get to see them much. Love the fact that these memories are still available. The smiles are fun to see because they are formed from the enjoyment of the occasion; they were on the inside and came out because of the surroundings.

Have we ever met that person who exudes the spirit of happiness, kindness, etc…? We feel a peace, a breath of fresh air. As soon as we see them, we smile because they are smiling. We smile because we see their eyes are sparkling. They have an inside smile that comes out just when we talk to them. Have we ever met that person? I have. Granted they have their moments, but not often. I remember one sermon I heard that was about these types of people. The emphasis was about the way they see others as not just another human being standing in front of them, but a human being with feelings, worries, life choices, everything; and they want to help everything. They want to encourage others to have their best life, because they are living their best life! These people have a beam of light, not just through their smile, but through their lives, their words, and their actions. I have met these encouraging people and could list here multiple names who come to mind. After that sermon, I made sure to find a couple of them and thank them for being those people. I wanted to be like them so I asked God to bring me peace, help me to say “I love you” to my friends and family, and look at other people differently.

So my husband looks at a glass as half full, he be one of them! Me, not so much. I am a product of cancer and a sour spirit. I have mentioned how much I hated what was happening to me, and I became bitter and hateful. I pushed those things aside in college, but there are still after shocks. So many years of sourness. My husband has said to me over and over that I needed to look at the glass correctly. There is this cancer mentality that sees the world in a different light, like most people who have gone through any trial. Do not get me wrong; a strong constitution and a reason to live give a cancer patient hope. But around every corner of life cancer lurks.

I have worked extremely hard to not be anxious each time my body has an ailment. I believe God healed my body but that does not keep me from cancer. It only keeps me from not losing my mind to cancer scares. You know when a person is suffering from cancer or any trial that comes into their lives, the mind is a crazy thing to tame. Which is why we should pray and ask God to make us those people we talked about at the beginning. Those people say, “Believe God is there.” “Everything happens for a reason.” Please, do not stop! It is hard to do what they say, and sometimes it falls on ears that hear and think, “Sorry, it is not that easy!” But, please, do not stop encouraging those suffering. We need it, and I promise. There is strength in numbers even if that person acts like they are doing ok, and they say they can handle it.

From the inside out we must work on who we are and how we encourage. As I have realized over the years, it is our choice how we go about that. Galatians 5:22, 23 lays it all out on the table in two verses. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” What do we do with these verses? We apply them to our lives. It is our choice to have love for others, to smile, to pray for peace, to be longsuffering, show gentleness and goodness, have faith, meekness, and be temperate. We choose our behavior but if we do not fill our lives and spirit and soul with the right things, then the choice to behave correctly keeps the struggle real; makes it more difficult. Luke 6:45 says, “A good man out of the treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.”

Let us all choose to work on the inside and allow the outside to show up as a better person. Those people that exude that spirit of happiness and encouragement may have it as part of their DNA, but guarantee they keep the inside work project up to code. The by product-our smiles! They are healing and worth every effort. We are all a part of a picture that is worth a thousand words.

The Weather Outside…

February 2022

It has been a while since I was able to sit down and share. But I hope to get into more of a routine with my time and the ability to continue writing. Today, has allowed me some time because of the weather. I choose to stay indoors when we have bad weather if at all possible. The weather where we live has a saying, “If you don’t like the weather, wait a few minutes, and it will change.” Two days ago, I took off my staple outfit accessory, a cardigan, because I was so hot driving around running errands in seventy-degree weather. Today, we have had a record sleetpocalypus, where there is easily an inch or two of sleet on the ground, and it is thirteen degrees at noon. Next week’s weather forecast? You guessed it, back up in the seventies. This has happened multiple times this winter, not quite as hot but just as unpredictable.

I guess that is life, right? In past blog articles, I have mentioned how a five second phrase can change the course of your life or how our lives are like roller coasters in the twist and turns they make. Our current world roller coaster has taken many of us on a journey we would have never imagined. Locked up in our homes for weeks without interactions with our families and friends other than on a screen. Many of our dearest friends have lost loved ones or almost lost them. Actually, family and friends have lost loved ones just because of a difference in opinion. Tragic.

Wait a few minutes, because the weather outside… so is that fear or flexibility. There would be many that would say it is fear and others that fly by the seat of their pants. I envy the latter person because I try, but I still seem to lose it once in a while as I try to be flexible. A Godly fear is pertinent to our life as a Christian. Ecclesiastes 12:13 says, “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.” Job 28:28 says, “And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.” So there is fear AND flexibility. They do run together, but when they become separated, then we see problems.

Fear can allow us to improve our surroundings and on the other side take us to places we have a hard time removing ourselves from. As a cancer survivor, I have made a choice to live a full life outside of the fear of reoccurrence. But then those times kind of just crop up. A couple of past articles have touched on two or three “cancer scares.” I really do not like to go to the doctor, maybe because of that one time that I went ended up being the worst moment in my life. I also do not like to take medicine and vitamins, and for years did not. Maybe because, well, you know. But living in fear that the next doctor’s appointment might be the same as that moment years ago, puts a limit on what I kind of need to accomplish in my life. Two years ago, I had struggled with a call to the doctor that was necessary. This was a struggle because of this pain in my side, and I did not want to know if it was bad. If you google diagnose, it tells you that you are dead tomorrow. Stay away from those diagnoses. There is a lot of great information, but when you have survived cancer, that word pops up every time I want information, and it is unnerving. So, a quick exam and CT scan gave both myself and my doctor relief as it was something else and was treated quickly.

The fear that stops us in our tracks is mentioned many times in God’s word. Isaiah 41:10 says, “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of righteousness.” POWERFUL! Philippians 4:6,7 says, “Be careful for (fear) nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Did you see all those big words? In everything do not fear, pray, ask fervently, be thankful, request. In one verse, it tells us the solution to the wrong fear! When we change the way we look at fear, we make it a Godly fear. Again, POWERFUL!

God gave me purpose when He said cancer. He showed me that fear and flexibility can be used for good for myself, for the good of others, and for the furtherance of the gospel. He showed me that the weather outside, although it may be seventy and warm, may tomorrow be thirteen with bad roads. Those roads, not by choice, get me back to where I can enjoy taking the cardigan off when it is warm. Godly fear and flexibility working together.

God Said Cancer In The Pool of Grace

SwimmingPool

3/10/20

It does not really matter how long I sit and ponder the current biggest issues in my life, there is a God in Heaven that has everything in the palm of His hand; He’s got it covered. We are on this earth for a reason, and because we are on this earth, created in His image but with a sinful nature, issues come. But, at this very moment a dear friend has started her cancer journey and is fighting for her life. Nothing right now that I have in my life can compare to what she is going through, yet God Said Cancer to me almost thirty years ago, so I can relate to most of what she is facing. The reason I started writing down my cancer journey is because cancer may come and go, but it never leaves the fabric of who a person is. It changes so many things about a person, not just the physical aspect but mental and spiritual as well.

Our friend and coworker, who is now fighting this fight, had been given the hard and not so promising news recently. With more details, more doctor visits, and more tests, a plan was formed. When we visited her, her spirits were up because a plan was in place. A specific phrase she made at the hospital will never leave my mind and heart, because I can truly say she is right. “I feel like I have jumped into a pool of water and GRACE is all around me; above me, beside me, below me, and I am just surrounded by it.” Her peace was intoxicating. She was able to see her God through the midst of the chaos. A God of Grace.

In my cancer journey, I cannot say I ever realized this grace was surrounding me, but it was. I was thirteen, and God was real to me but not mine. As I have mentioned in an earlier post, I was saved about a year into my journey when my dad asked me if I had ever thought about cancer taking my life. I realized I was a sinner and would have gone to hell if I had not lived. So grace, although it was there, it was not something I can say was a part of my journey early on. My parents, they were in the pool. They were made strong through God’s grace.

Paul says it perfect in II Corinthians 12:7-9: “And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance  of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh,… For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he (Christ) said unto me, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” Paul was given his “thorn” just like I was, and he asked God to remove it, as I did. Paul realized that when Christ died for him, God’s strength and grace surrounded him, and he gloried in his “thorn” so others may see God. Wow. Oh, to be someone that glories in my infirmities, so God can be seen!

Have we seen those Olympic size pools that are super long and deep? They are so large-God’s grace is bigger. In college, God showed me this pool of grace that I had been swimming in since my diagnosis. He showed me the grace to spare my life so that I would see His love for me and my sinful nature and accept Him as my personal Savior. Hebrews 12:16 “Let us come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” He showed me so much grace that was poured over me and my family for the year and a half of chemotherapy, doctors, bowel obstructions, I could go on but my past blog articles catalog those things. He showed me His grace given to us when the cancer “disappeared” at the three months scans. “It was a miracle.” It was GRACE. In October of 1993, the doctors put the stamp of CURE on my chart. “We do not need to see you again unless you have complications. It would be good to have an annual checkup.” Again, GRACE.

I had to realize I was swimming in the pool already. Hearing God’s word preached so often was the turning point in my life and the realization that I was in God’s pool of grace, and I have been there ever since. That is so fascinating. And yet when I hear others go through what I went through, I cannot breathe. I am encouraged when a visit with them shows me they found that GRACE in the midst of their trial. Then I praise God that His grace is still there, still helping someone put one foot in front of the other in bad times and the good times. Were it not for grace; another side effect of cancer? Most definitely.

This song was released my first year of college.

Were It Not For Grace by David Hamilton

Time measured out my days,
Life carried me along,
In my soul I yearned to follow God,
But knew I’d never be so strong.
I looked hard at this world,
To learn how heaven could be gained.
Just to end where I began
Where human effort is all in vain.
Were it not for grace,
I can tell you where I’d be.
Wandering down some pointless road to nowhere,
With my salvation up to me.
I know how that would go,
The battles I would face.
Forever running but losing this race,
Were it not for grace.
So here is all my praise,
Expressed with all my heart,
Offered to the Friend who took my place,
And ran a course I could not start.
And when He saw in full,
Just how much His would cost.
He still went the final mile between me and heaven,
So I would not be lost.

We Do Not Know What We Are Missing…

photo-1541890289-b86df5bafd81

10/28/19

Summer 1997

A recent sermon, make that many recent sermons, that I have heard have been about prayer. Boy, do I need the reminder. People have needs, and prayer is the conduit between us and our Faithful to Listen God. Answers are not necessarily readily available, but how many times have we heard someone say that prayer changed everything or they knew prayers were being sent up to God. Like a thousand times here! I am an obvious answer to prayer, and much of my life is as well. But, I would like to submit that some Christians would like to change their prayer life to be more meaningful. A prayer life that sees God and feels His presence. To develop this, we have to take time out of our lives and show God we mean business.

When the team and I went to the Philippines between my Junior and Senior year of college, we experienced many major life lessons. Of course, the lack of things that people have in other countries hits a person right in the face when that person was born in America. We see the videos and pictures on TV. They are portrayed to us pretty accurately from what I have seen even on a recent mission’s trip to Peru. But as a college student, it was the first time for me to see them in real life. I will never forget what I learned though. Even when the people of these countries seem to lack everything we take for granted, they are not lacking anything. Why? Because they do not know what they are missing. The way they live is all they know. They do not realize that their home could have an actual floor and not dirt, or their windows could have screens and panes and not just wood that swings out to let air and light in. They do not realize that sewage should not flow in the cut out ditches next to the road, or their clothes do not match because they were hand me downs from the local missionary who received them from Americans.

A small little, old Filipino lady beat me up with her words as we sat across from her in her one room shack with dirt floors. Through an interpreter she said that she was happy the way things were for her, and she would never change it. But the young people of her country see that Americans have so much and the only thing they want to do is go to America. They work hard in school trying to get good grades so they can get on a list to go to a college in America or try to get a job there. “Their only goal in life is to get to America.” That was crazy to me. These people had so little and never knew they had little until they saw that Americans had so much, and they wanted that life. They were the happiest, kindest people I had ever met, yet they wanted to be me?

Why did these people, whom we would consider poor and impoverished but who really were not, want to be me? It made me think what was my purpose in life? Who was I and where would I be going? I did not realize I had not answered those questions before. I did not know what I did not have was missing because I had never had it. The older people in this country were in the same boat with material things; the younger people had figured it out. They saw what was missing and knew they wanted something different. I needed to pray about this phenomenon in my life because cancer was instrumental in whom I had become.

I was not missing material things life food, clothes, family, friends. I had that covered. I had all of the things needed for a cozy dorm room, good grades, and a goal set to teach in the classroom. There was a fantastic job in college and a car to drive there. Plus, I would be graduating in a year. Absolutely nothing was missing from my life until the above questions came to light. The people from another country help me to get a hold of God in a new way and ask for the guidance that I did not know was missing. The direction in where I should be going, and who was I, really. So enlightening. I began to see answers to those questions as I searched. God gave me a peace about my career path, which would waver, unfortunately, but He would still be there to show me He was in control. God gave me a sense of purpose; looking at lost souls with a new set of eyes, and sharing the Gospel with them. He would answer for me who I was, and why He had chosen me to have cancer.

Cancer is followed by the word why. It really helps us see our prayer life in a real light. But if cancer is not near or has been placed in the far corners of our minds, what do we really pray about? Do we have a time and place for our prayers? Honestly, we NEED the time and place. God is felt and moves in our spirit and soul when we kneel before Him and fellowship in prayer. Most likely we will have a prayer list, but maybe the list should be shorter. Then we could intercede at a more intimate level when we concentrate on that name on the list and pray about their inner self, their well-being, and their needs. People all around us need us. Not only them, but we need us. We need to pray and really pray. I tend to be pretty faithful about lifting someone up in prayer when I am driving. It is a good time for me, but I would like to take more time in my “prayer closet” for me and my fellowship with a God who took my life a totally different direction than I had expected. He is pretty real to me, so I want to be the person He wants me to be.

Psalm 39:12, “Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear unto my cry; hold not thy peace at my tears: for I am a stranger with thee, and a sojourner, as all my fathers were.”

Life Is Good

Childhood%20Cancer.jpg

9/13/19

Fall 1996

Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. I am very much aware of this because my dear friend lost her little girl this year, and she is sharing her story. I am also a Childhood Cancer Survivor so of course I think about it this month. But what does this really mean to me? I have basically sat back and been a statistic: at thirteen, I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, had eighteen months of chemotherapy and spinal taps, was told cancer free and cured at seventeen. Survivor. Made it! Done.

But cancer has never left my life; it just left my body. Sure, I have not walked around telling every person I meet, “I am a cancer survivor!” Why not? I am not quite sure how to answer that, but I do know that God has placed on my heart about a year ago to tell my story. Again, the audience is small, but someone I know, let us make that, many someones I know have been or are being affected by cancer. And if any one of the someones need another step forward, maybe hearing my story will help their brain tell the nervous system to move down to the muscles in the leg and make that foot take the next step to fight this horrendous disease. Because most days, it does not feel like it is worth the fight; cancer takes so much from a person.

Childhood Cancer Awareness Month is a great time to become aware of children with cancer, and the research to fight those cancers is critical. As with most cancer patients, the family will be involved with the fight, but with a child who has their whole life ahead of them, their family is their only way of making it through. How important is family? Very. In previous posts I have shared about my family and their fight along with me to conquer this disease, and then about two of my family member’s same fight in the years that followed my diagnosis. I pretty much hate cancer. And then on the other hand I am grateful for the story I get to tell. God has done some AMAZING things in my life through Childhood Cancer.

In my cancer story timeline, I have completed eight weeks at a summer camp listening to God and seeing Him work in my life. I met a super fantastic, over the top friend who was my roommate at camp, and we quickly decided to request to be roommates in college since she was headed there for her first year and me my junior year. We were granted that request and parted ways after camp excited about being roomies again in a few weeks. I spent a couple of weeks at home and my brother, who was also planning to join me at college, and I packed up our cars and parents and headed to So. Cal. I will mention here that So. Cal. is a great place to go to college! For one, the weather is wonderful! Living in Wyoming for nine years where they say we have nine months of winter and three months where the snow is not as bad, is a bit of an overstatement, but we have shot off many a firework with snowflakes falling. That means: it snowed on the Fourth of July at least twice! Back to So. Cal. There was Six Flags, Disneyland, Knotts Berry Farm all within 30 minutes to an hour and every beach about an hour. Anyway, I enjoyed living there.

My brother and I were very excited for the new school year, and we were ready for it to begin. I was assigned a new dorm as assistant RA and my new roommate and I settled in to the college schedule. We also had fun times with a group of friends that was quickly growing. She had come down with some from her church, and I had also reconnected with my friends from the previous year. Life Was Good! I remember being on a spiritual high from the summer and anxious for the chapel services and guest speakers visiting the campus.

I had an easy life, far from my four years of cancer life. Who needs cancer? It was extremely easy to leave that all behind and enjoy what I had to the nth degree. But why is it, we go through something, and because it does not have place in our lives at the time, we push it aside and focus on other things? For me, I was moving on; I did my time and wiped my hands clean of all the ugliness of cancer. Is that bad? No, probably not. But other people are going through trials, and I should care. When Life Is Good, it is someone else’s trial. True, but I would NEVER have been able to recover, first without the Lord, and second without family and friends. Sure, I was determined to beat it myself, which is crucial, but my family and friends were my ROCK, no doubt about it. Those that prayed for me, yes, God heard those prayers. He tells where two or three are gathered in His name, He is there Matthew 18:20. Prayer is essential, but so are actions.

Raising my hand, I would be the first to admit, my cancer advocacy is non-existent, but my husband and I have invested ourselves into where we feel most compelled and that is our church and the precious people that attend with us. I applaud those organizations and groups and research for what they are doing because those people helped me fight the fight. Thank you. But many times I get complacent and sit back and say, Life is Good. Those around me are doing well, too.

Let us make sure that those trials around us stay fresh in our minds. When the diagnosis is a few months removed, are we still praying for them? When that friend who was critically injured in a car wreck, they are home and their car is crushed at the salvage yard, are we still praying or calling them up and asking if they need anything today? When that special friend lost her little one, how is she doing? Pray today for them, and then act. Not sure what actions should be taken because I feel inferior in this area, but there has to be something out there we can do. Others are worth it, right? We have our own families to care for and those around us to invest in, I understand, but let us not forget about others where the Life is NOT so Good. They will remember us when it is our turn.

James 5:13-15, “Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms. Is any sick among you?…  ….And the prayer of the faith shall save the sick”… Galatians 5:13, “For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.”

That’s What Friends Are For

best

8/15/19

Spring/Summer 1996

Yes, I had the necklace above. And, yes, these type are still being bought by teens and kids today. I would have an extremely hard time keeping my head up if I had one for each of my friends over the years that I keep in contact with often, and then one for each of my friends who are in my life right now. I chuckle at the picture that comes to mind of me with an abundance of necklaces around my neck for each friend, but I also would know which one would stand for which friend and cherish them like I did when I was 15.

Friends. What does this word mean to us? When it is spoken, it triggers a picture or a thought in our minds. Sometimes we see a spouse or a close friend; other times we may picture a friend from our past. Our thoughts may include a feeling of relief, trust, a big hug. The word friend conjures up mostly good feelings because we have been through a lot with that person. They are super important to our lives as we live in a world of negativity and disappointment here and there.

The word FRIEND means “a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.” A friend is a person we know, a person with whom we have spent much time, shared many thoughts, and let down our guard showing our true self. We all know who our true self is, and many times a choice few people know that self. A spouse will most likely understand us the most and then family members whether they be a parent or child. A close friend whom we have spent hours with either at work, on the playground, or at church may also see that true self. It really is hard to hide when hours upon hours are shared with others. It is not a bad thing to be ourselves, but some people may think that because feelings get hurt, don’t they? Unfortunately, I tend to be an open book, to the chagrin of those closest to me. I am truly sorry, but thanks for loving me, all!

My sophomore year of college became one of the most important years of my life. I met friends that changed my life and are friends to this day. I can look back on that school year and as it was closing thought how important it would be for me stay in a spiritual place even without chapels, roommates, and classes. In the early spring, I had signed up for a summer at a church camp in Colorado. Being from Wyoming, I was super excited to be close to home, and although I had never been to the camp, was looking forward to spending time there and in that capacity. School ended and I headed home for a few weeks before trekking south for eight weeks of church camp. Growing up as a pastor’s kid, I had been at camp my whole life. Literally! My birthday is in the summer, and many a present and song were passed on to me at camp, even at five, six, seven. My parents brought us along since they were going. Fond memories, but I really enjoyed when it was my time to be a camper in junior high and high school.

God knew I needed to be at church camp for eight weeks that summer. It was a little nerve racking at first because we were assigned roommates for the little rooms we would stay in for the summer. They had two bunks on either side of the room with a bit of space in the middle as wide as the door frame. Close quarters, so we would need to get along somewhat. Unbeknownst to both of us assigned to one room, we would definitely be getting along. We became fast friends; ones who would have bought the necklace. This friend was not only just like me as a ministry kid, but planning to go to the same college in the fall that I was already attending! Uh, God? Yes! She encouraged me, prayed with me, and became what I needed to further my relationship with my True Friend. Any apprehension was all gone about leaving Bible college and what I had experienced that school year, and I spent another two months seeing God work in my life through the preaching and friendships created. My roommate was not the only person that God sent my way that summer. He provided Godly leadership and multiple “best friends;” such close friends, they were all in my wedding six years later.

And now back to cancer. Not only was the first weekend at camp scary, each of us were assigned a host family we would stay with on the weekends, or let us say for 36 hours, so we could do our laundry, sleep, and get a home cooked meal or a much needed out to eat. If I remember right, my first introduction to my host family was at church the day after orientation at the camp. One of the other camp workers and I met with a cute older couple that we would stay with the next weekend. They were so sweet, and we would soon be grateful for their beautiful home and cool basement, couches, and TV where we would spend the majority of our Saturday and Sunday afternoons sawing logs.

The first weekend we arrived, we were shown our room and the basement with laundry facilities. We ended up in the kitchen continuing small talk and getting to know each other. I looked around and low and behold smack dap in the middle of there refrigerator with business cards and calendars was my picture. When I got out of the hospital the first time, we had been told I would most likely lose my hair. My mom took me to a photographer downtown and had my picture done before my hair fell out. She wanted to put together a little prayer card to send to the hundreds of people that visited and sent cards, flowers, and gifts after hearing of my diagnosis. This sweet couple 400 miles from my little town in Wyoming to Denver, Colorado, had received my prayer card through the church and had been praying for me. When they had been told I was coming that summer, they had requested that I stay with them. They wanted to meet the subject of their prayers and get to know me. Uh, God? Yes!

Under no other circumstances can anyone make these things up. There is absolutely no way to even write books that have these kind of twists. Well, I guess there are books like this, but they are mostly fiction. This is real life with a real God. My God said, “Cancer, Rachelle.” I said, “Nope, not me.” But He did not listen, and decided my family and I needed this in our lives. Why do I have this little blog recounting the years of agony and defeat and hair loss and hurt and whys? Because the story is worth sharing for that one person that may be going through the same thing I did. Because the story is worth sharing for that other person that had a why? day. Because of the stories like the one above. Because…

That day in the kitchen of the sweetest couple ever, God showed me my story was not just mine. It was theirs as well. Before them stood an almost 20 year old that they heard about years before, had cancer, then received a prayer card, and prayed for her. She was now in their kitchen, totally healed and a walking miracle to them. Now this was OUR story. God also knew years later, our paths would cross again. One of them has passed on, but the other one is a member of the church I attend in Oklahoma. Friends for a lifetime on this earth.

But our friend for Eternity is Jesus, and there is not enough time to list all the verses that confirm that. John 15:13, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”  Romans 5:8, “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” We can receive that True Friend today and never want for another friend or thing to make us happy. But, I am so grateful God said Cancer, because of the people that He has brought into my life to call my friends and that call me friend. Friends are what make the world go round.