October 2026

The word on the street is TRAUMA. Every day, adults down to children are using this term for daily upsets. Please understand that I believe people go through trauma, but the face makeup not matching the skin tone or the facts that the favorite team did not win is not the “trauma” that is used for real “trauma.” The original definition of trauma from the Webster’s Dictionary is “an injury (wound) to living tissue caused by an extrinsic (outside) agent.” It later morphed into “a disordered psychic or behavioral state resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury.” This definition is an incredible look into real life problems and upsets that cause real life emotional and physical injury. It is not something to ignore, but look deeper into to see the source.

Many times, I have reflected on my cancer journey and the side effects. Many times, I have mentioned my emotional state, looking at how those side effects caused my feelings to come, from sadness to often hate. You hear the phrase, “I Hate Cancer,” or other phrases with the same sentiment. The emotions are real; the hate is real; the trauma is real. We all know and understand the reasoning behind, but is anyone really talking about the trauma? When is the last time we heard someone ask for prayer for that person starting their chemo protocol? Did we think about them outside of the word picture we instantly had of that person’s face in a hospital room or cancer center room, sitting on a chair with IV poles next to them, and IV tubes running into their body? I believe that many of us have that word picture each time we hear of someone going through it. So If we continue with the next picture in our head, what is it?

That person came in hours before to have their blood drawn and their white blood cells tested to make sure their body can handle this harsh disease fighting liquid that will be pumped into their body. If it is a go, then medicine will be given to them that will help with nausea later and maybe something to help with the next white blood count test. Then if this is their first chemo, there may be some talk about things to expect for the next couple of days and if concerns pop up to give the doctor a call. If it happens to be a second or third chemo, they will settle in with maybe a book or scrolling, maybe even change out of their wig and put on their scarf. After chemo, comes the side effects as they manage those and hope they are not so harsh or debilitating as has been reported. The word picture continues with one now lying on the couch just wiped out for days with nausea or any other effects.

The next time we see them, the chemo picture and now them with their cute head piece on and a smile, their is nothing in between to fill out the picture of what they just went through. We only have two shots. They are pros at this thing by now. Mentally; still anxious. No one can be a pro at the mental; maybe act like they are a pro, but the anxiety and tears are in their bathroom or bedroom when they get home inside the picture we do not see. Are we seeing the new word picture? It is quite large and reminds me of one of those old flip books I made as a kid. The first page has a drawing of a stick figure with a ball in their hand and the next one has the same figure but the ball is a few inches from their hand. Eventually the consecutive pictures have the ball hitting the ground and coming back up. These type of flip books cannot leave out any of the pictures because we miss the larger one; the story. We have filled out some of those pages today, but let us fill out the last one. The mental one.

Actually, how can we do that? We cannot take a picture of someone’s brain unless we are a doctor, but we can talk about it. My personal mental state during diagnosis was fear and anger. I woke up from surgery with a cancer diagnosis. I was extremely irritated because I felt absolutely horrible and out of it for days. And then as the fog lifted, all the emotions listed above were in high gear. The mental instability was more than my thirteen year old self could manage, so I shut down and went into fight mode. GET. THROUGH. THIS. I remember leveling out to feeling quite a bit more normal as I was able to add the normal life back into the schedule between chemos. I went back to school and finished the few weeks left of eighth grade, that made me feel mentally stronger. I was able to enjoy a summer with friends and a new normal. And each chemo day was one day marked off the calendar and closer to the end.

My parents and brothers were my mental stabilizers, and I remember knowing God was in control. The word “trauma” was not talked about; we were right in the middle of what would cause me trauma in the future. Possibly for the family as well. This was my trauma; this was my “disordered behavioral state resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or injury.” Had them all, so, yes, I have trauma. But, come on, I have the Lord and I know the end of the book and I have been DIRECTED every step of my life then and since by an Omnipotent God. Still have trauma from my cancer journey though.

My beloved, beautiful sister-in-law was diagnosed this year at forty-one with breast cancer. My beloved, strong brother has now had a fourth close family member diagnosed with cancer. He is now having to go from holding my puke bucket at four years old to holding his precious wife while she recuperates from her chemo. I cannot speak for him, but my trauma that has come from her journey has been thirty-six years in the making. When I heard from her what her diagnosis was, I was so upset that one of my beloved might have to go through what I went through; true trauma. We had a couple discussions about what chemo might look like. Way too many years have past and medical science has improved for it to look the same, but chemotherapy is the same treatment; side effects somewhat different. Hair loss, same, and brought into my life a trauma response I now understand to possibly be PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Please understand I did not see a doctor but my response to my family member losing her hair was extreme for me. I cried uncontrollably when she invited me to be with her and her family while she shaved her head. I cry never, well, in the past year not once. All day long I could not understand the true sadness that enveloped me for this loss for her. But, it was my loss so very long ago. She did not deserve this, no one does.

But, Our God Said Cancer.

He has a plan, whether it is to be healed or whether it is to meet Him face to face. As Christians, our steps are ordered by Him.

He is Omnipotent-All powerful

Jeremiah 32:17: “Ah Lord GOD! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is nothing too hard for thee.”

Luke 1:37: “For with God nothing shall be impossible.”