Category: Faith

J – Others – Y

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9/29/19

Spring 1997

Reaching outside of our bubble, our life, who we are, is extremely important. I realized this with a recent family trial that has turned into a journey. It began when my husband’s mom had a major stroke, and I emphasize major. Here comes the medical-there are a few types of strokes ischemic, hemorrhagic, brain stem, and cryptogenic. Hers was a hemorrhagic which is not as common and often deadly. God spared her life. We have known stroke victims, but this was our first experience first hand. Medical terminology, recovery, statistics, blood pressure, etc… are a new road of travel for her family. Many stroke victims lose something from the stroke, and no two people are affected the same. Because of this loss, the family tries to fill in the gaps. It is a trial that has an end result of a new normal. My husband, his siblings, and dad have spent endless hours learning the ropes of a stroke. This education is exhausting and ever changing. The new normal is a full focus on helping their wife and mom regain strength, movement, and cognitive ability. They have taken their lives and reached past their giving threshold and then given more. It is what a person does when life changes in an instant. Life is about others, right?

My junior year of college brought to me my first lesson about others. I had become very much aware of others when I walked into my first dorm room. My friend and roommate my Freshmen year and I grew up with only brothers so we did not have to share with any other girl in our homes. We really got along great! But then there are others when a person lives in a dorm, and one realizes that quickly. I loved each of the dorms I lived in, and for the most part it really went well. But, again, life is not just about us.

My junior year brought an opportunity to see others and serve them. I was able to work in different ministries at the church and spent time telling others about Jesus and His love for them. Our college had been taking mission’s trips each summer, and I signed up to go to the Philippines. Growing up in a pastor’s home allowed the opportunity to meet many a missionary family as they circumnavigated the United States getting ready for the final destination of another country. They are dedicated families that have said “I will go,” taken up their roots in a place they call home, said goodbye to friends and family, and would say hello to a group of people that most likely will not even know the word. These families I met growing up were just like my family, called by God to tell others, serve others. As Christians, we all have that commission.

Missionaries were my heroes. I was more than excited about going to the Philippines. The group going consisted of a couple of close friends and other college students plus a Filipino man from our church at college. He had taken a few groups over in the past, and would set up for us to be there for five weeks with national pastors. These pastors were actually Filipino men who were pastoring churches that in the past might have been started by an American missionary. Pretty cool.

We began in January getting our funds together for the trip, passports sent in, and time off of work depending on where we would be going that summer. We would spend the last week of May and the whole month of June in the Philippines. All of us were excited and began to prepare for children’s programs, testimonies, and youth services. With the preparations, it is really easy to look past what would hit a person right in the face when they go to the mission field. The people are what we are there for, and the experience of going to a foreign field and serving in a ministry aspect is priceless. But the way of living is so different than America, or the America I had experienced growing up. My parents provided all of our needs, and when we moved to Wyoming they both worked full time jobs outside of the ministry to support the family. We were very much taken care of and would have never considered ourselves in need. There are people in this country who would have needs that I had never experienced.

Going to a foreign country opens up a whole new world. People are people no matter what country we live in, and they may have many needs, but the one common ground we have is just that: we are all people, created by God with a heart and soul and mind. We all have a soul that needs Jesus. Whether we live here or in another country, the act of serving others should be in the forefront of our minds.

When a person goes to the mission field for a trip or to minister full-time, they have one goal: to serve others. They have put Jesus first and themselves last to serve others. Across this world people need the Lord. But, what if we are not sent over to another country or never have that opportunity to go on a mission’s trip? Are not people there the same as people here? Yes, they are, so let us serve them here, too. Let us tell them of Jesus. Why in the world are we too busy to do that?! Many a person, myself included, are in too much of a hurry or to even take five minutes to lay out their long schedule for their day or week. Others are the last thing on our minds. Live our lives; that is what God wants us to do. Be diligent, be responsible, but be loving and considerate of lost souls right next door to us. That cashier has a soul and our busyness might skip over that. Our soccer mom friend needs a home church. We live in the “Bible Belt” of the United States. I have met people even here that do not know about Jesus, and many that want to hear of His love. Who are we living our life for?

J-O-Y. I think most of us have the “Jesus” down. I would not question that about the majority of Christians I know. The “You” is an obvious problem with myself included. The “Others” needs a little work. I submit that if we take the amount of “Jesus” on one end of the spectrum and the “You” on the other end and meet in the middle, our “Others” might be just right. Philippians 2:3-5 sums it all up. “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus…”

Life Is Good

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9/13/19

Fall 1996

Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. I am very much aware of this because my dear friend lost her little girl this year, and she is sharing her story. I am also a Childhood Cancer Survivor so of course I think about it this month. But what does this really mean to me? I have basically sat back and been a statistic: at thirteen, I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, had eighteen months of chemotherapy and spinal taps, was told cancer free and cured at seventeen. Survivor. Made it! Done.

But cancer has never left my life; it just left my body. Sure, I have not walked around telling every person I meet, “I am a cancer survivor!” Why not? I am not quite sure how to answer that, but I do know that God has placed on my heart about a year ago to tell my story. Again, the audience is small, but someone I know, let us make that, many someones I know have been or are being affected by cancer. And if any one of the someones need another step forward, maybe hearing my story will help their brain tell the nervous system to move down to the muscles in the leg and make that foot take the next step to fight this horrendous disease. Because most days, it does not feel like it is worth the fight; cancer takes so much from a person.

Childhood Cancer Awareness Month is a great time to become aware of children with cancer, and the research to fight those cancers is critical. As with most cancer patients, the family will be involved with the fight, but with a child who has their whole life ahead of them, their family is their only way of making it through. How important is family? Very. In previous posts I have shared about my family and their fight along with me to conquer this disease, and then about two of my family member’s same fight in the years that followed my diagnosis. I pretty much hate cancer. And then on the other hand I am grateful for the story I get to tell. God has done some AMAZING things in my life through Childhood Cancer.

In my cancer story timeline, I have completed eight weeks at a summer camp listening to God and seeing Him work in my life. I met a super fantastic, over the top friend who was my roommate at camp, and we quickly decided to request to be roommates in college since she was headed there for her first year and me my junior year. We were granted that request and parted ways after camp excited about being roomies again in a few weeks. I spent a couple of weeks at home and my brother, who was also planning to join me at college, and I packed up our cars and parents and headed to So. Cal. I will mention here that So. Cal. is a great place to go to college! For one, the weather is wonderful! Living in Wyoming for nine years where they say we have nine months of winter and three months where the snow is not as bad, is a bit of an overstatement, but we have shot off many a firework with snowflakes falling. That means: it snowed on the Fourth of July at least twice! Back to So. Cal. There was Six Flags, Disneyland, Knotts Berry Farm all within 30 minutes to an hour and every beach about an hour. Anyway, I enjoyed living there.

My brother and I were very excited for the new school year, and we were ready for it to begin. I was assigned a new dorm as assistant RA and my new roommate and I settled in to the college schedule. We also had fun times with a group of friends that was quickly growing. She had come down with some from her church, and I had also reconnected with my friends from the previous year. Life Was Good! I remember being on a spiritual high from the summer and anxious for the chapel services and guest speakers visiting the campus.

I had an easy life, far from my four years of cancer life. Who needs cancer? It was extremely easy to leave that all behind and enjoy what I had to the nth degree. But why is it, we go through something, and because it does not have place in our lives at the time, we push it aside and focus on other things? For me, I was moving on; I did my time and wiped my hands clean of all the ugliness of cancer. Is that bad? No, probably not. But other people are going through trials, and I should care. When Life Is Good, it is someone else’s trial. True, but I would NEVER have been able to recover, first without the Lord, and second without family and friends. Sure, I was determined to beat it myself, which is crucial, but my family and friends were my ROCK, no doubt about it. Those that prayed for me, yes, God heard those prayers. He tells where two or three are gathered in His name, He is there Matthew 18:20. Prayer is essential, but so are actions.

Raising my hand, I would be the first to admit, my cancer advocacy is non-existent, but my husband and I have invested ourselves into where we feel most compelled and that is our church and the precious people that attend with us. I applaud those organizations and groups and research for what they are doing because those people helped me fight the fight. Thank you. But many times I get complacent and sit back and say, Life is Good. Those around me are doing well, too.

Let us make sure that those trials around us stay fresh in our minds. When the diagnosis is a few months removed, are we still praying for them? When that friend who was critically injured in a car wreck, they are home and their car is crushed at the salvage yard, are we still praying or calling them up and asking if they need anything today? When that special friend lost her little one, how is she doing? Pray today for them, and then act. Not sure what actions should be taken because I feel inferior in this area, but there has to be something out there we can do. Others are worth it, right? We have our own families to care for and those around us to invest in, I understand, but let us not forget about others where the Life is NOT so Good. They will remember us when it is our turn.

James 5:13-15, “Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms. Is any sick among you?…  ….And the prayer of the faith shall save the sick”… Galatians 5:13, “For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.”

That’s What Friends Are For

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8/15/19

Spring/Summer 1996

Yes, I had the necklace above. And, yes, these type are still being bought by teens and kids today. I would have an extremely hard time keeping my head up if I had one for each of my friends over the years that I keep in contact with often, and then one for each of my friends who are in my life right now. I chuckle at the picture that comes to mind of me with an abundance of necklaces around my neck for each friend, but I also would know which one would stand for which friend and cherish them like I did when I was 15.

Friends. What does this word mean to us? When it is spoken, it triggers a picture or a thought in our minds. Sometimes we see a spouse or a close friend; other times we may picture a friend from our past. Our thoughts may include a feeling of relief, trust, a big hug. The word friend conjures up mostly good feelings because we have been through a lot with that person. They are super important to our lives as we live in a world of negativity and disappointment here and there.

The word FRIEND means “a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.” A friend is a person we know, a person with whom we have spent much time, shared many thoughts, and let down our guard showing our true self. We all know who our true self is, and many times a choice few people know that self. A spouse will most likely understand us the most and then family members whether they be a parent or child. A close friend whom we have spent hours with either at work, on the playground, or at church may also see that true self. It really is hard to hide when hours upon hours are shared with others. It is not a bad thing to be ourselves, but some people may think that because feelings get hurt, don’t they? Unfortunately, I tend to be an open book, to the chagrin of those closest to me. I am truly sorry, but thanks for loving me, all!

My sophomore year of college became one of the most important years of my life. I met friends that changed my life and are friends to this day. I can look back on that school year and as it was closing thought how important it would be for me stay in a spiritual place even without chapels, roommates, and classes. In the early spring, I had signed up for a summer at a church camp in Colorado. Being from Wyoming, I was super excited to be close to home, and although I had never been to the camp, was looking forward to spending time there and in that capacity. School ended and I headed home for a few weeks before trekking south for eight weeks of church camp. Growing up as a pastor’s kid, I had been at camp my whole life. Literally! My birthday is in the summer, and many a present and song were passed on to me at camp, even at five, six, seven. My parents brought us along since they were going. Fond memories, but I really enjoyed when it was my time to be a camper in junior high and high school.

God knew I needed to be at church camp for eight weeks that summer. It was a little nerve racking at first because we were assigned roommates for the little rooms we would stay in for the summer. They had two bunks on either side of the room with a bit of space in the middle as wide as the door frame. Close quarters, so we would need to get along somewhat. Unbeknownst to both of us assigned to one room, we would definitely be getting along. We became fast friends; ones who would have bought the necklace. This friend was not only just like me as a ministry kid, but planning to go to the same college in the fall that I was already attending! Uh, God? Yes! She encouraged me, prayed with me, and became what I needed to further my relationship with my True Friend. Any apprehension was all gone about leaving Bible college and what I had experienced that school year, and I spent another two months seeing God work in my life through the preaching and friendships created. My roommate was not the only person that God sent my way that summer. He provided Godly leadership and multiple “best friends;” such close friends, they were all in my wedding six years later.

And now back to cancer. Not only was the first weekend at camp scary, each of us were assigned a host family we would stay with on the weekends, or let us say for 36 hours, so we could do our laundry, sleep, and get a home cooked meal or a much needed out to eat. If I remember right, my first introduction to my host family was at church the day after orientation at the camp. One of the other camp workers and I met with a cute older couple that we would stay with the next weekend. They were so sweet, and we would soon be grateful for their beautiful home and cool basement, couches, and TV where we would spend the majority of our Saturday and Sunday afternoons sawing logs.

The first weekend we arrived, we were shown our room and the basement with laundry facilities. We ended up in the kitchen continuing small talk and getting to know each other. I looked around and low and behold smack dap in the middle of there refrigerator with business cards and calendars was my picture. When I got out of the hospital the first time, we had been told I would most likely lose my hair. My mom took me to a photographer downtown and had my picture done before my hair fell out. She wanted to put together a little prayer card to send to the hundreds of people that visited and sent cards, flowers, and gifts after hearing of my diagnosis. This sweet couple 400 miles from my little town in Wyoming to Denver, Colorado, had received my prayer card through the church and had been praying for me. When they had been told I was coming that summer, they had requested that I stay with them. They wanted to meet the subject of their prayers and get to know me. Uh, God? Yes!

Under no other circumstances can anyone make these things up. There is absolutely no way to even write books that have these kind of twists. Well, I guess there are books like this, but they are mostly fiction. This is real life with a real God. My God said, “Cancer, Rachelle.” I said, “Nope, not me.” But He did not listen, and decided my family and I needed this in our lives. Why do I have this little blog recounting the years of agony and defeat and hair loss and hurt and whys? Because the story is worth sharing for that one person that may be going through the same thing I did. Because the story is worth sharing for that other person that had a why? day. Because of the stories like the one above. Because…

That day in the kitchen of the sweetest couple ever, God showed me my story was not just mine. It was theirs as well. Before them stood an almost 20 year old that they heard about years before, had cancer, then received a prayer card, and prayed for her. She was now in their kitchen, totally healed and a walking miracle to them. Now this was OUR story. God also knew years later, our paths would cross again. One of them has passed on, but the other one is a member of the church I attend in Oklahoma. Friends for a lifetime on this earth.

But our friend for Eternity is Jesus, and there is not enough time to list all the verses that confirm that. John 15:13, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”  Romans 5:8, “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” We can receive that True Friend today and never want for another friend or thing to make us happy. But, I am so grateful God said Cancer, because of the people that He has brought into my life to call my friends and that call me friend. Friends are what make the world go round.

 

 

 

 

 

The Cocoon

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7/20/19

Just like that, all the words from my previous post have come to fruition. Our family has seen a new normal for now that was not planned less than a week ago. My s-u-m-m-e-r became very real to me and my family this week. Our Salvation was real close to us because we almost lost a significant part of our family who would have joined our Father in Heaven without His hand on the situation. We plan to stay Unmovable during this time of trial, because our God is who we serve and He is always there. We stay Mesmerized at the small steps that have been accomplished in our loved ones’ life every day. We cherish the pictures and the Moments we had and have with them at this time. We will Evaluate what God has placed before us and focus on the situation placed before us and the people sent our direction, because we need to be Ready to show them the love of our Almighty, All powerful, All Healing God!

Five seconds changed our families’ world. Now let us see what God will do with the rest of our seconds.

Fall 1995

Similar to this time in my families’ life, a very significant time in my life was my sophomore year of college. I had begun the year searching for something, anything that gave me a purpose and a reason for the crazy cancer fiasco that had come my way a few years before. God brought me a friend that was kind of in the same boat. We were able to fill a void of friendship for each other. God also spoke to me over and over in chapels and church services about my relationship with Him and that my life lived for Him should show others His love. Across my path, walked many people that had been affected by cancer. I grew closer to God than I had ever been. My testimony was shared in devotional time and given to teenagers at conferences. At the time, I was not aware of the significance of what God had done in the past, but saw small things here and there of how important it was to share my experience. I did not know what the future held for me, but knew I was doing what I was suppose to be doing at that time.

Recently, one of our children had to teach a lesson in their classroom about anything they were interested in. They chose the butterfly, and we ordered Painted Lady caterpillars online which were shipped to us through the mail. It was very exciting opening the box and seeing this small cup of insects inside. The caterpillars were shipped inside a cup that contained the food they would need to survive the process. The instructions were to leave them and watch them grow for a few days. It was amazing how in just a couple of days they doubled in size and continued to grow.

The next step was significant and all of sudden. We looked inside one day and four out of the six caterpillars were in a cocoon, and one of them was in the process, moving and wiggling around with the cocoon forming. In one day, they were finished and suspended in air from the lid of the cup. Instructions: wait a few more days and then we would see the butterflies emerge. Having caterpillars for pets was extremely easy; purchase them, get them in the mail, open them up, set them on the counter, and watch. Love pets, but most of the time it is a ton more work! We literally walked into the kitchen one day and the butterflies had emerged. They were so pretty, and it had been a fascinating process. Oh, and super easy! Next instructions: watch the butterflies for a few days, feed them with sugar water, and then release them to do their job in the flower world. I am sure that we could find many a caterpillar outside and see the magic happen over again. We, however, enjoyed the easy online order and process we took to see the cool metamorphosis.

As they studied the caterpillar and gathered information about the changing into a butterfly, I became very aware of the significance of the cocoon. Without the cocoon, the caterpillar stays just that; a caterpillar. The cocoon is where all the magic happens. This is very similar to the Christian life. During the time of life where I was going through cancer there was much wiggling and movement while the cocoon was forming. I feel like the time I spent in college figuring out my purpose in life was the same. Every step of the way to this point has most likely been the same, or the cocoon has formed and I am just being transformed. At whatever point in the process that I am in, heaven will be when I emerge and am made new. Thank goodness for the cocoon; it is such an important part of the caterpillar’s life, as it is in mine.

We could say that God is that part in our life that protects and changes us to be more like Him. God’s word tells us in Job 23:10 of Job speaking to those around him about the devastation that he had just endured. He lost his family, livelihood, and body and still he said these amazing words speaking of God: “But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” We will come forth as gold. No matter the easy road, the hard road, the protection and comfort we have in our Heavenly Father will always be there. Nothing that we go through on this earth compares to the trial that Jesus Christ went through as He stood before men as a man in the same flesh we are in and was tried and sentenced to death. He was placed on the cross and in agony and pain took the sin of the whole world upon Him so that we may be saved. Even though we are tried and sometimes suffer, we get to come forth out of the cocoon to live eternally with Him. Hallelujah!

 

Dog Days of Summer

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7/5/19

Summer 1995

The end of a school year in May just means the beginning of S – U – M – M – E – R. A whole new season, a whole new schedule, and a whole lot of time for fun. My freshmen year of college was over, and I had made the decision to stick around because the tutoring went into overdrive in the summer. I would have 40 hours a week from the first week and all summer without going home and trying to find a job with the same amount of hours. It was well worth not getting to go home to be able to pay for my semester when I returned in the fall. I had a great summer in LA that year with friends and family that lived a couple of hours away.

At the time of this article, summer is in full swing with another 4th of July in the books. We have spent the week watching fireworks and setting off a good number of small whistling and popping ones ourselves. The summer is around halfway through and the “dog days” are just around the corner. The household suitcases have been in full use twice, with another round coming up shortly. I have decided to not even walk them back to their hideaway in the attic until school starts. They will see three trips between now and then anyway. Why bother? It comes with the season. But for some that is not necessarily true. Summer does not mean trips for everyone depending on their occupation. This time of year can be the busiest time of year for certain people, where they spend other seasons traveling. In our area, landscapers, baseball players, pool companies, etc… use this time to make a living for their families.

Whatever summer means to each of us, it still stands for something; it is a new time in our life as the seasons continually change. Time does not stand still, so what should we do when summer rolls around? Ponder. Here are a few words that came about when I sat and pondered my summer.

S – Salvation. For today, the first letter of summer will stand for the most important aspect of a Christian’s life. When salvation is mentioned, what is the first thought that comes to mind? Mine is Jesus. Because of His death on the cross as payment for my sin, I trusted in Him as my Savior and received salvation. A sigh of relief; for if my summer changes and my life is taken from me, I know where I will go. Do all of us know? Remember the S in summer.

U – Unmovable. Christianity is a hard road to follow because of the different turnoffs that present themselves. There are many side roads with a small sign that can divert a person when things may be hard or weary or if we are not focused on the Lord and task at hand. It can be easy to make a quick turn thinking that we will find the main road again; we just need a quick diversion. We take a road trip each summer and sometimes purposely take a side road to see a famous landmark. A couple of times, it took us a lot longer to return to the main road than we had thought and our arrival time was pushed back. Diversions can set us off course. Determined to stay on the hard road and unmovable no matter the cost is difficult but doable.

M – Mesmerized. “Our God is an awesome God, who reigns from Heaven above, with wisdom, power, and love. Our God is awesome God.” We should stay in awe of our awesome God. I was speaking to someone this week about the prayers they prayed for a quick trip to the store. “Keep the lights green, the lines short, the prescription ready, the rain at bay, until we return home.” They were so grateful He answered those prayers. I have found myself in the same situation hundreds of times, no exaggeration. Do we really expect the answers? I believe we do, and then we stay mesmerized by our God.

M – Moments. Each moment is a gift. Those laughs and giggles, those fights and arguments; they could all go away and then we wish for them back. We need to keep the moments precious down to the very seconds. In a previous blog, I mentioned how important a five seconds should be to each of us. I am amazed at how in a few seconds, our lives are on a different track. A second is how long it takes to change forever.

E – Evaluate. What is our purpose and are we living it out? I believe most people have an understanding of their purpose. They have evaluated their life and know they, as Christians, are here to live a life for God, serving Him with their whole hearts. We should also evaluate our attitudes, our thoughts, our words, our actions. A reminder is good for us.

R – Ready. A Christian should be ready at all times to show others of God’s love for them. The checkout line may not have been the time to give the cashier a gospel tract, but a “have a great day” gives them and those that are in earshot a new thought for a few seconds, and it only takes that second for them to show someone else the same kindness. And the pay it forward continues. Ready to be a Christian? Just answering that question personally is thought provoking. Yes, I am ready, but do I have to be? My flesh asks the other question. Just being honest.

Summer can mean many things. The letters can stand for any number of words. What they mean to us just takes a few moments to ponder and then put into action. Making our summer challenge to be a better person with a purpose will bring the next season of life into focus. We must choose to be a Christian; choose “Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance” Galatians 5:22. Why? Because they are the fruit of the Spirit, and we are the fruit of His Spirit.

The Road Ahead Looks Great

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6/11/19

Fall 1994/Spring 1995

With the brother in a better health situation, my mind could focus on the task at hand. The college life kept moving ahead with day after day of classes and book work. I was able to secure a fantastic job as a private tutor at a tutoring service in a nearby city. It was a fulfilling job because I was a teacher at heart and hoping to get my degree in that field. The hours were perfect; leave school at 2:15pm to start teaching at 3:00pm and clock out at 8pm for the drive home. It was a solid 30 minute drive on the streets of the suburbs of east LA. Most drives were uneventful, and it was basically a straight shot down Arrow Highway.

On occasion the drive was abnormal. A couple of us from school worked at the tutoring service, so we would carpool. One trip, my friend and I were talking and having a good ole’ time, and a guy started yelling at us with his window down, pointing at the ground. We were a tad nervous, because, well this is LA. I soon realized I was driving on a flat tire, pulled over, and we took a look. Since we were not in the tire changing business, looking for the items to change the tire was an ordeal, and the lug nut turning never happened. We were weaklings to say the least. My friend was a blond beauty so many a honk came our way, and one guy stopped in front of us and turned around with a car phone. We waved him on, very nervous; again this is LA. She ran across the street to a pay phone and paged a friend, who showed up and changed the tire. We got back in the car, and it would not start! Our friend was able to help get it going, and we headed to work, late for our first appointments.

When we were stopped at the side of that road with a flat tire, we soon noticed we were on a long stretch of highway that did not have a gas station. Well, before that fateful day, this particular stretch of highway was the best time to get up speed and catch up on time if we were running behind. It had, in the past, been our saving grace when we needed help to get where we needed to go on time. That road was not looking so great those few moments. Our perspective changed in an instance, and we never did look at it the same again. We chuckled about what happened there when we would pass by, and I can go to that spot today and point it out.

Stories of road mishaps can be told by all, but it is amazing that there are not more of them, when we travel well worn paths in the concrete on a daily basis. Many times we take for granted that road, the familiar stop sign or stop light, the same neighborhoods and businesses… Our surroundings do not change but unless our circumstances do, we typically do not notice or we pay little attention to them. When the circumstances change, we then notice. Same with our lives, right? Day by day, we try to live a life that has meaning and fulfillment; focusing on our families, focusing on our relationship with God, focusing on our church family, focusing on… We can fill in the blank with whatever we narrow down our focal points. It is what we are supposed to do, but then the flat tire comes along and what happens?

First off, our physical reactions to the flat tire are super important to discuss. This subject hits close to home, because in the last few years, I have been confronted by the way I react. I truly and purposefully try to be better, not always successful but am grateful for those around me that confront me and give me grace. It is incredibly important to keep my relationship with God strong, which keeps my focus on Him strong when the flat tires come along. I try to remind myself of the following illustration all the time: people are like tea bags; when things around them get hot and boiling, what is on the inside comes out. If we have that relationship with God, and we do not like what we see when it is hot and boiling, there should be a time of reflection on what changes could be made.

Second off, the flat tire changes our perspective; it becomes a reminder. It becomes a place when time, people, places changed, and we have a different perspective. There are many new perspectives that have come along in my life, but cancer was a big one for me. I saw myself as a teenager with a whole life in front of her, and in one week the flat tire changed my perspective to, “Wait a minute, what life?” There is not much life to be had when you wake up from surgery screaming in agony, not having a clue what is happening. When you hear your mom say to someone, “How am I supposed to tell her she has cancer?” When you realize you have an eighteen inch long incision on your stomach and an IV hanging out of your chest. When you see yellow and red liquid going into your body that the doctors say are supposed to get you back to being a teenager.

New perspective? You betcha. I may have not realized it for years to come, but that flat tire gave me a new look at a road I had been traveling on. I eventually became grateful for it, and the road ahead looked great. Jeremiah 29:13 says just that, “For I know the thoughts I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Psalm 119:105, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” So grateful for God’s road I am on!

Do You Remember When…?

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5/21/19

Fall 1994

What about the time that we …? Do you remember when…? It feels like yesterday that I was riding a bike down our alley to go to the church where my dad was a pastor. We lived a street over, and between the row of houses there was an alley where we would ride to and from the church and our school which was across the street from the church. I remember the house and my room with a large picture window. The house was two bedrooms and two bathrooms with a dining room and eat in kitchen. My parents closed off the door from the kitchen to the dining room, and it became my bedroom. It had large windows on one side where I was certain to keep the bed as far away from them as possible. I loved that room. It was somewhat decorated girly, but most of my time was spent outside with my brother who was a year younger. Our other brother was born around this time.

We had the coolest trees in the front and back yards, and we did our dead level best to conquer them all, and they in return tried to do the same to us. The tree in the front was graciously used for sitting and talking and, one time, swinging with a sheet tied between two branches. It was not too fond of that because the swing lasted a few seconds and sent me crashing to the ground, breaking my collar bone. The five, large pecan trees in the back had an amazing crop of pecans that we turned in for money, which was well worth the time spent picking them up. The trees also had the best branches for climbing extremely high, but once sent my brother to the hospital with two broken arms. Although we had our share of mishaps, we have our share of fond memories that are cherished to this day.

In my cancer journey, a trip down memory lane brings me to the point where I had recently registered for college in Southern California and am fully engulfed in my freshman year. I had a quick turnaround from Ms. Independent to Ms. Homesick. I missed my family greatly, and it was not just the fact that I was not in the same house anymore. My brother was having a medical scare of his own. My parents had taken him to the doctor who had given him the news that he had cancer cells. He had surgery to remove a tumor and cells which were localized and not spread to any other locations. But the biopsy and a return trip showed the cancer could show up anywhere in his body. This sent my parents back into Cancer Parent mode, and they began the cancer journey again for the third time in five years. They chose along with my brother’s consent, who was almost 16 at the time, not to treat with chemotherapy and radiation. Just return trips for scans and monitoring. He never had another reoccurrence!

We were so grateful and took a sigh of relief that he would not have any treatment like I had to go through. I remember being in the dorm at college and asking roommates and housemates to pray for him, his surgery, and the diagnosis. I had so many people informed and praying, and I felt like if God could heal me, He would heal my brother as well. Really never doubted but was anxious all the same. I think my family kept me minimally informed about what he had to go through. Nonetheless, he is another sign of God’s healing hand for our family, because when cancer is diagnosed, the whole family is involved.

This memory of God’s intervention was impactful. I saw God in a whole new light because before, my cancer was my cancer, and He would be giving me my life back. My mom’s diagnosis the same time as mine, was not as impactful maybe because I was a little distracted. When my brother faced the same thing, it changed my perspective of the disease. I saw it as a threat, something that was going to take family from me. I was not ok with that at all. When everything turned out so well, I mean “so well?”, how can cancer have a “so well” result? Anyway, it was a good ending. God became real to me. I learned that freshman year that my daily walk with Him was an essential part of my Christian life. I also learned about making wise decisions when the decision making is in your court for the first time. Boy, I was shown time and again that my decisions were very important to my future and would need to be bathed in prayer. I learned that my study habits from high school were strong which helped me with the intense college grind. College can pound you with the schedule, papers, tests; the work load can at times be relentless. But pushing ahead and working hard will pay off. My freshman year was no exception, and it started off with a cancer diagnosis?!?!

Three people diagnosed with cancer within a few years of each other. How does that happen? Medically, my parents have spoken to specialists. But we understand that God did it this way for a reason. We have individually seen time and again why He brought cancer into our bodies. For me, my brother’s journey really helps solidify God in my life. Stories like this, or memories, are endless for us and would take volumes upon volumes of books to catalogue each instance how God revealed why the diagnosis of cancer was made in our three lives. Our memories are used to make new memories for us and then for someone else who might be experiencing cancer, and the cycle repeats.

Memories of our past can cause pain and can cause happiness. They can cause frustration and can cause joy. A memory may have been a learning experience or a turning point in our lives that made us a better person. Many of us have old memories of a life lived without God and new memories with Him as our Savior. We can rejoice in our salvation when the “old things are passed away” and “all things are become new” II Corinthians 5:17. I am truly thankful for memories, and ask the Lord when the memory is not so pleasant to help me not be bitter or learn from what transpired. It does not always happen that way, but I want to be aware. As I write each article, memories of how the events transpired come back and reveal to me how blessed I am; how amazing God has been to me.

Faith in Things Not Seen

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4/18/19

I began this blog after a lunch date with a friend discussing children, school, cancer, and church. It was then and there that the tug for writing my story came to fruition. Her daughter was fighting a three year battle… My heart is heavy beyond description, but my loss has no measure to hers and her family. Her precious girl went home to be with the Lord last weekend. There is no way I can describe their loss. No way on this earth. My prayers and encouragement may be a help, but that is all I can offer.

In the last few months, I have seen families hurt by this disease, and I tried to answer the “why? “. I do not know if I have real answers, and for most people that have seen God work in their lives over and over again, they kind of already know those answers. We read God’s word, hear God’s word preached, and see Him work because of our faith. Faith is the “substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Everyone has faith in something. Having faith in God who takes every aspect of our lives in His hand and gives us hope, direction, and love makes life on earth seem bearable. He gives us evidence through answers to our prayers; whether He answers them how we want or how He wants. We can then have hope that He will do it again. Then the cycle repeats.

What are tough times? They come in all forms like taking away those who are precious to us. Cancer took other things from me: almost half my teenage years, school attendance, a healthy body, a head of hair… Tough times can only be labeled by us. We have to fill in the blanks ourselves, and no “tough time” is less important than someone else’s. They range from a broken body to financial troubles to spiritual downfalls. Whatever it is when we feel downtrodden and lost, then it is our tough time. It comes in all forms, and sometimes we do not see it until it is too late. Our relationship with God can keep our eyes open to what is around us and help us see a tough time. Then our faith is strengthened. The cycle repeats.

Cancer took so much from me, but it gave me a list of amazing things that would fill pages and pages. Which is why I have made note of many of them here. There are so many gifts and blessings that come from tough times, but it is important to grieve when we feel empty. Sometimes we cannot be strong for others anymore and just have to go to God and grieve. The grieving process is how we get back to remembering those blessings. Blessings that give us hope; blessings that increase our faith. Then the cycle repeats.

We have faith in so many things. We trust when we sit down that the chair will hold us. Our vehicle is important to our daily lives. The education we receive is used to improve our future. Each doctor we visit with helps us make decisions about our health. Faith is all around us, and we miss it sometimes. But when the tough times come, we remember what we are supposed to remember about God and His power to get us through. Next, we have to act upon it and have faith that He will. Easy to say, easy to do; because we live in faith in other things every day. I promise, it is easy to do. And then the cycle repeats.

Hebrews 11, the “Faith Chapter,” is all about people in the Bible that did do faith. Some of them in the daily things and some of them in the Godly things. Ordinary and extraordinary. But they all experienced a faith in God that brought them closer to Him. Abel offered up a sacrifice that pleased God; Abraham left his home and followed God’s leading; Sara believed and received a child in her old age; Rahab help God’s people escape. People who trusted in something they could not see but had seen the results of their faith in the past. Their faith put them in the Faith Chapter. It starts like this, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”