10/9/2020

2002

As my journey continued, January 2002 began with a proposal for marriage and a date set for June. Wow, I really wanted to be a June bride so that was pretty cool. The next few months were a whirlwind as we prepared for a wedding, and I was teaching my fourth year. As the months passed, we were hired to be on staff at my husband’s home church, and so I did not renew my contract for another year at the school. Here comes a new road on my journey. At the end of the whirlwind six months, we were married and headed out on our honeymoon. Little did we know that the honeymoon would not turn out like most honeymoons, and cancer changed what was suppose to be one of the happiest times in our marriage.

The wedding day brought a belly ache, but what does one expect; a little butterflies and not really hungry. The first day of the honeymoon, the belly ache was still there, but again still a little bit of butterflies about a new marriage. By the time we landed in our honeymoon spot, the belly ache was a little more, and I was really hungry. We took a long stroll, grabbed a bite to eat, and after the first bite, the pain was excruciating. We had to walk, or my husband basically dragged me a couple of miles back to the hotel. We stopped at the pharmacy for any medicine that might ease the pain. In the morning, we tried to walk around, sight-see, and shop, but my belly was not having it. Within a few hours, we were headed to the nearby emergency room because the pain was so extreme. The doctor admitted me to the hospital, and I was diagnosed with a bowel obstruction. Same song, second verse. This happened to me a week after I was released from the hospital after my cancer diagnosis and surgery, twelve years earlier. We could not believe it! Honeymoon and hospital are not suppose to be in the same sentence, and yet, cancer said happy time, here I am again! Side effects of cancer are the pits!

This doctor, like my cancer doctor the first time, said the same thing. Bowel obstructions resolve, but if it lingers than surgery is the next option. Well, I was not a happy camper for many reasons obviously, but a big reason was what most people do not think about when someone has cancer; no health insurance as I mentioned in a previous article. We spoke to the doctor in the ER about it when he told us he was admitting me, and we brought it up to the doctor at the hospital now. Her communication to us, “The hospital bill is pretty high already, so anything we do now really will not change the fact that you may not be able to pay. You are here to be taken care of, and that is what we will do. We will not order any extra tests, just the ones we need to keep an eye on things and will wait a day or two to see if the blockage resolves. If it does not, we will have to operate.” Ok, great. Nice way to spend our honeymoon! In fact, each nurse that came in reminded us that our room was dubbed the “Honeymoon Suite.” Fabulous. At least we gained some notoriety during this time.

Not only was I dealing with the bowel obstruction again, I was also sitting there with no makeup on and a large tube down my nose so my stomach could be pumped to relieve the pressure in my belly and intestines. Boy, my husband got to see it all. For most newlyweds, there is a honeymoon, a year of honeymoon stage, and two or three years in semi-honeymoon stage. Many do not go through a major crisis for a little while where they see each other and their real selves managing that crisis. True colors come out in crises, and we jumped into those true colors right away. I looked awful and felt awful, and basically, a big baby. But, I have a tremendous husband who had to go pack up our stuff at the hotel and check out, went and did a little research about this crazy obstruction, and kept encouraging me. He was amazing, just saying.

This situation added more of a dilemma to our plans because we were to fly out of the country in a few days from this location for another week of honeymooning in a different place. We decided on the morning of day two that the second leg of our trip would have to be postponed. We were afraid that even if the obstruction were to resolve and we made the flight, I should not travel and risk a recurrence and another hospitalization out of the country. I was devastated. Not only was it my fault we were here, it would be my fault that we could not continue our trip as planned. This was not going well, but by the second evening, there were signs of improvement. The next morning was a clear picture that things were resolving, but it was the Fourth of July! The doctor came by in the morning and said everything looked 100% better and ordered a scan which came back clear. We would most likely get to leave the next day. That evening we watched beautiful fireworks via the reflection off the building beside us. We had wanted to be in the States for the Fourth to celebrate. It turned out to be a little different than planned. Why? Cancer.

I did get discharged the next day which was the day we were suppose to leave for the second part of our honeymoon, and the hotel was so gracious to let us return to our room. Since we missed our flight that morning, we spent the next week recovering and enjoying some of the things we had planned before. I really felt so much better and was able to bounce back quickly.

Cancer may have been the reason for such a drastic change of plans, but I believe God has a purpose for everything that comes our way. He healed my body of the disease, literally, a miracle healing, but He has chosen to help me along my life, experiencing things that remind me that He healed me. My cancer journey will never go away as long as I am alive. There are too many side effects that come along with it. But, even when plans change so drastically because of it, I will be disappointed, pout, maybe cry, but in the end, God knows and has a plan for my life, still. Reminded almost daily that my breath and my health are a gift. Exactly like the gift of salvation that He has given to us as His creation, and all we have to do is accept that gift. James 1:27 says, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” Our journeys are His gifts.

12/27/18

July 1991

The air we breathe every day gives us life to do the things we expect to do that day. Soberly, I sit down to write, with thoughts of others who are going through many of the same things I went through, but they have a different prognosis right this very minute. I find myself reviewing the previous article because the question is so fresh on my mind, and yet those around me going through this only get the words, “I am praying for you and the family, and so sorry you are having to go through this.” Now why can I not take their pain away or give them any other words of encouragement? Because I do not know the answer to their “why,” and any words expressed to them show them I care, I am thinking of them, I want to do something, I … There is comfort in the knowledge that there are others that want to change the circumstances for you. It really makes it hard to move on from these thoughts, yet I know that my God gave me a story to share, and in that story He had given us some encouraging times that we will never forget.

We had returned from our National Spelling Bee adventure and hit the summer months. Around this exact same time, we had news from Make-A-Wish. Most people have heard of this organization; it has given children with critical illnesses a twinkle in their eye during a time when those twinkles are few and far between. Make-A-Wish grants wishes to children with a critical or life-threatening illness who apply or are referred to the organization. I definitely fell in the right category, even though I would have rather not been there. It is a process, so when we filled out the paperwork we had no idea we would be traveling again in two short months. When we received notice that we were going to be granted a wish, I was ecstatic. Mom asked me what I wanted to wish for, and I knew exactly what it would be; a brand new wardrobe! I told her that would be so fantastic, and she could fill out the request and send it in right away. A short time later, she came to my room and asked me if I would consider choosing Walt Disney World because she had known this was one of the most requested wishes. She told me if I chose the trip for the family, she would buy me a new wardrobe.

It makes me chuckle because my only thought processes were something that was forefront in my fourteen-year-old mind. New clothes! New shoes! Shopping! Hanging out with friends! Someone was offering me anything in the world and that is all I could come up with; that and I remember thinking I wanted this cancer thing to go away if they could really grant me any wish. We were granted the wish, and the trip was scheduled for July right in between chemotherapy treatments. I would have a chemo the week before and have a couple of days recuperation before we left.

Walt Disney World here we come! All of the details were taken care of for us, and we were mailed the plane tickets, directions, itinerary, and information for the week stay. We flew from Salt Lake City to Orlando, and upon arrival we picked up a super nice rental car to use for the week. Just driving to our accommodations, this small-town preacher’s family could not believe that this was actually happening to us. When we arrived at our accommodations, we were in awe. Over half of the wish requests to Make-A-Wish are to go to Disney World and the surrounding parks. We were to stay at a resort called Give Kids The World Village which is a place that was created for this very wish. At the time we were there it had only been open for a couple of years and has almost tripled in size since that time. The resort has multiple areas where families can enjoy time together at playgrounds, pools, a theater, ice cream parlor, and other activities. Our family was given a ground floor villa with a stocked refrigerator, meal tickets to eat at the dining area, passes to four theme parks, daily spending money, etc… We met many Disney characters in the dining hall and walking around the village.

During the week, we stayed very busy trying to get all the theme parks in and enjoy our time. I actually struggled with my health, though. We were not used to such hot Florida weather; Wyoming has maybe one week where it might hit a high temperature of 90 and even then there is no humidity. It was really hard to be out in the heat and humidity, so I did my best. I was given a large button upon arrival to wear which gave us access to enter the exit line to get on the rides and attractions, or I most likely would not have been able to do so much, and I know the family was grateful.

Throughout the week, we met and visited with many families at the village who were there because of the very same reason, not just cancer but different critical illnesses. When you are going through treatments, you see children in the waiting room or walking down the treatment hallways. The magnitude of the disease stays to a minimal, because you are in one location. When you step inside the village that was created for children from all over the country, you realize that the world is a bigger place and there are hundreds of families going through similar things. My parents were definitely encouraged with how I was doing. Many children were far worse than I, and I recall hearing a passing of one of them who was visiting. I was more than grateful to be as healthy as I was and be able to leave the village to go to the parks, when others were not feeling well that day. We even met families who were granted a wish for multiple children in their family, not just one. This trip at this level would most likely never be repeated. We were and are so grateful to those who have given of their time, finances, and to support this organization who in turn give a much-needed push to others to keep pressing on during a very hard time in their lives.

Those families we met 27 years ago, and the ones we know today who have a time in their lives without an answer to their why, will find that answer in God. Maybe not at the moment, but that is ok. God is still there. Philippians 4:4 says to “Rejoice in the Lord always.” He is not telling us to rejoice no matter the circumstances but to rejoice IN HIM no matter the circumstances. What does that look like? Paul who wrote Philippians, later states that whatever state he is in, to be content. We really can choose or look for the joy in the midst of the trial that is so big in front of us we do not really know if we can take the next breath. God is still there. He does not say life will be easy; He just tells us to rejoice, because He has an answer to the “why.”