11/20/18
Summer/Fall 1990
Nervous, to say the least. It was my three month checkup and although I would come to appreciate these scans more so later on, I had in my mind they were no big deal right now. The pink stuff threatened to destroy my life again, and we realized after this endeavor, we would get further along in the scan process if they just shoved a tube down my nose and shoveled it into my stomach. Not as much groaning and moaning and whining and refusing to drink the stuff that way, and it went in hours faster. Seriously.
Three month scan report and blood work: 100% clear! Not one spot or lymph node or any sign of cancer in my body. It was an absolute miracle, and the oncologists basically said the same thing. We knew it was and why and how. Each and every time we returned for scans throughout the months and years, we received the exact same results from the doctor. But every time I was still very nervous.
Another reason to be nervous. I was embarking on a new journey; entering the big doors of the only high school in the area. The two story building was set up on a hill right behind one of the two grocery stores in town. It was a rectangular shape with the freshmen lockers at one end next to the choir and band rooms and the gym. About 3/4 of the way down the hallway toward the other end was the entrance, commons area downstairs, and cafeteria upstairs. Then the classrooms began. We were able to get our lockers and check out the classrooms on our schedule before school started, and I figured that I might have to run if I ever had to go back to my locker. I did my fair share of that throughout the year.
My schedule consisted of all the regular classes, but I did not have to take P.E. because if for any reason the broviac was hit or dislodged, I could have serious problems. I would be an aide that hour, plus I would be taking Spanish and Choir as my electives. I was also taking Algebra II which ended up being with a few friends from middle school and a boatload of upper classmen, mainly Juniors and Seniors. I would soon dread going to this class; not because of the workload.
Like I said earlier, we had one high school in the area which brought all the freshmen into one building. Everyone from my middle school knew my situation, maybe not the fact that I wore a wig, but had an idea why I would leave during class and be gone the next day. After a couple of months, I started getting questions from the other students, so I would give them a short answer that I was going to the doctor because I was sick. I had a hard time talking about it so I just left it at that. The math class was hard because at one point I saw a couple of upper classmen point at my hair and laugh. I dreaded going in there from that point on, but I decided to move to the other side of the room and ignore it. I was just being sensitive, but when mom asked if I would like a new wig, I said yes. We picked one out that was longer and a different color and made plans to change them out at Christmas. The questions were non-stop that first day back in January. I told everyone that I colored my hair and got extensions! It worked, but I was not going to change my style again.
My health was really good. I had the occasional low blood counts, which caused a rejoicing in my heart because I did not have to have chemo. I think that only happened three times in the 18 month time period. Amazing to say the least. To go to school full time and hang out with friends at church, it is crazy that I did not have more times where they would send us home.
Even though my body stayed strong, I did struggle with a couple of issues that would not go away. I was having severe headaches. I would be in class in the middle of the day, and it was all I could do to keep my head up. After a visit or two with the school nurse, she suggested that I come down and lay in the nurses station anytime my headaches were unbearable. She spoke with my mom and sent out a note to all my teachers to let them know. I did not want to miss class, so I fought through them as much as possible. We asked the doctors at our visits and no one really had any explanation. I even had an MRI to see if there was cancer in the brain, but that came out negative, which was a huge relief. Mom and I concluded that it had to be the spinal taps because I have never had any headaches like that since chemotherapy.
The second issue I was having was with my heart. When I was young, I was diagnosed with a heart problem called SVT, Tachycardia, an irregular heartbeat. When I would have an episode it would trigger the heart to start beating extremely fast, up to 250 to 300 times a minute. When I was little I remember my parents rushing me to the hospital, and I would have to put my face in cold water or some other quick reaction that would trigger the heart to reset and go back to normal. The doctors had medicines that would go in an IV that would stop the heart, but that was always a last resort. If too much time passed, I could go into cardiac arrest so getting it to resolve was super important.
As I got older, I was able to control the beats by jumping up and down or doing a cartwheel or holding my breath. At this time in my cancer treatments, the situation was not so easy. Chemotherapy had intensified the amount of episodes I was having, and it was also preventing my regular ritual from halting the fast pace beat. I started seeing a cardiologist at Primary the day I was admitted for the tumor because they had to keep an eye on my heart during the surgery. We visited with him a couple of times the first few months, but as the intensity of the episodes increased, we met with him each month.
I was going through a hard time in the midst of a hard time, and I was at a real crossroads in my journey. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually I was about to take a hard turn in a different direction.
God has not given us a Bible filled with many stories of wonderful things that happened in history. He has given us His Word filled with many stories of wonderful things and difficult things and exciting things and devastating things and life and death. Just like our lives now. God mentions many times that there will be tribulations and trials in our present world, but He will be with us. John 16:33 says, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”
God Said Cancer 